In the last year, I encountered a moment where I asked myself if all that was happening to me was really happening or if I was imagining it all. It's actually a strange feeling. It makes you feel like you're a character on a reality show and you're watching this other person's life happen in front of you. I love reality shows. Some of my favorites are Survivor, America's Next Top Model and The Amazing Race. I love to watch them and cheer on the people competing for the immunity idol or the modeling contract or the million dollar prize. I also like to tell them when they've made really bad decisions and how they'll pay for that before it's all over with.
It's really interesting how one person can make one bad decision and change the course of the future. My favorite reality show is probably Survivor. I love the tribal councils where they totally blindside someone and vote them off. I also love to watch the competitors make decisions and see how they will effect the outcome of the game. When I compare this to my life, I look back on some bad decisions that I've made and the effects they had on my life in the moments they were made.
Humans really are capable of making pretty dumb decisions. I'm sure that's not life-changing for you, but sometimes it still catches me by surprise. Unfortunately, I don't think that making bad decisions will ever come to an end as long as we're alive. What I do think changes is the severity of the cost. Bad choices usually cost us something in the end. Like an immunity idol, for example. When we're kids and we make a bad decision we do whatever we can to hide it most of the time. Better yet, we put the blame on someone else. "He made me do it" or "she told me to say that." We like to try to bring someone else down with us, so that we can share the punishment instead of taking it alone.
My brother and I always tattled on each other. I'm sure that there are exceptions, but not us! I would've done anything to get that kid in trouble. I'm sure he felt the same affection for me. That's just how kids are. They'd do anything to escape the consequences of their actions, and when they can't they usually whine or cry about it. I guess if you really think about it, seems like things don't change much when we're grown. I know everyone's different and handles situations differently. However, even as we mature and get older we still make mistakes. Bad decisions still get made. The difference is that the price we pay for those decisions increases. When you're ten you might lose your allowance, but when you're thirty you might lose your marriage.
Maybe I'm just in the minority on this one, but I think we still tend to hide our bad decisions from others sometimes. Or, maybe we try to blame something on someone else. The hiding gets more complicated and the blaming gets uglier the older we get. The ten-year old on the inside of us is crossing their arms tightly across their chest with their lower lip sticking out in the "pout" position. Sometimes we refuse to apologize and own up to our choices. We don't want to pay the price that we know it will cost us. When we're in that moment, we can't imagine putting ourselves out on the line to do the right thing.
I've come to learn that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. We tend to make it more difficult on ourselves when we kick and scream. My brother would almost always kick and scream all the way to the bedroom where he was doomed to receive his punishment. I, on the other hand, chose the surrender method. I still received the same consequence as my little brother, but taking the submissive route made it seem less worse. It also gave my punisher, whoever it may have been, a chance to explain why they were punishing me. Most importantly, it gave them a chance to tell me that they loved me.
What if it's like that with our Heavenly Father? If we are His children, then He loves us enough to teach us right from wrong. When we make bad decisions, then we have a choice. We can go kicking and screaming to God trying to convince Him that it wasn't our fault. Or, we can put the blame on someone else or even Him. We can refuse to apologize and own up to our choices. I think if we choose this path we're only making it worse on ourselves. We're not allowing God the opportunity to teach us anything.
Then, there's alway the surrender method. It takes courage and bravery to surrender, but I think God honors it more. He will continue to love us when we kick and scream, but He can teach us when we surrender. When we mess up we must surrender ourselves to Him. Give Him a chance to teach you and put you back on the right path again. We must not blame or hide, we must submit and surrender. If we do, God will have the opportunity to look us in the eyes and tell us that He loves us.
